Been cleaning and thinking. That can be a happy experience or that can be an unpleasant one. Today was somewhat of a winding twisting road containing both elements. Been looking long and hard at some difficult truths. Pushing prior rationalizations aside and being real. That is outside my recent comfort zone. I guess I am just opening my horizons back up and allowing the sun back in.
You see, I have discovered that I have been down the rabbit hole a bit. The world I entered had become a strange place for me over the past several years. I have not dealt with things as I should have. That is not a good thing. I now have regrets. But at least I am aware and I am making choices to change that. I am trying to find my way back to who I once was, or a close facsimile of that person. A time when I was relatively happy with the simplicity of who I was and what life had to offer. I lost that person a bit somewhere along the way. I never saw it coming..but looking back there were warnings that I was headed the wrong way. I just ignored them because they didn't fit with what I thought I wanted at the time.
The things I chose took me very far away from the things I needed. I was just sooo curious. Hmmm. Curiosity killed the cat...But satisfaction brought it back...
I am no longer curious. I am seeking my own satisfactions from myself and not looking outside for some "thing" to appease me any longer.
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